*SYSTEM ERROR* *SYSTEM ERROR*

The most frustrating things about work these days are our aging systems and our bureaucracy (I guess you could say that our bureaucracy is an aging system as well). I understand that I work in a more traditional industry that doesn't necessarily have a need or desire to be at the forefront of technological advances, but the day-to-day system failures I have to deal with are getting ridiculous. First off, Lotus Notes...is there a more annoying program? Ignoring the fact that I hate the program itself, whenever I load it, I always get an error which then causes Lotus Notes to shutdown and create an error report to "help my technical team assess the problem." Although it is only an inconvenience and not a critical failure, it causes my workday to start on a sour note. My tech people do not consider fixing this a priority.

The other main system that I use on a daily basis is a proprietary system that would have been considered cutting edge 10 years ago. Besides the fact that every move you make within the program tree (think moving from folder to sub-folder) just superimposes the new window on top of the old, creating a cluttered screen, it also likes to freeze up and kick me out of the system whenever it feels like. On a good day, I'll get booted out of the system a minimum of 5 times. Tech support says this will be fixed in the next version. We've been waiting for the next version since I started working here so I'm not holding my breath.

We are also upgrading our systems to get in synch with our parent company's systems. For simplicity, let's say that we are on System A and they are on System B. Our parent company is in the process of converting to System C. It would seem logical for us to also convert to System C, but what fun would that be? Instead, we are going to convert to System B and then 6 months after that, we'll try to convert to System C. My estimation is that by the time we get to System C, the parent will be on System E.

I don't really need to say much about the bureaucracy since everyone faces the same challenges at a large company; it comes with the territory. It slows down my work flow, creates useless extra work for me and in the end, pisses off my clients. I've just tried to deal with it. I've actually been lucky and been able to work through the bureaucracy to get some difficult deals done which has made me look good, but that may change soon. My biggest client has made a request that I think is a no-brainer. We do it and I'm guaranteed to keep the business for another year. My initial read, though, is that the higher ups won't buy into it and will make it very difficult for me to keep this client. Sometimes I forget if we are trying to actually make any money...

My Liver Needs A Vacation

I'm hungover right now, in a bad way. I'm hungover from drinking two days ago. I felt pretty shitty yesterday, but I made it through work and overall, I had experienced worse hangovers in college. But this morning, I woke up and my stomach was still in knots. My head is still throbbing, all from a "work dinner" on Wednesday.

As part of our marketing efforts, my office takes out teams from various insurance brokers that we work with. I've attended a couple of these events in the past, and for the most part, they are pretty tame. Obviously the level of drinking depends on the group. However, about a year ago, there was an infamous "work dinner" (I did not attend). The result was numerous rounds of tequila shots, the senior guys in my office getting yelled at by their wives, and lots of hungover people the next day. Since then, I think some of the people in my office have been trying to recreate the event. As a result, Wednesday night's dinner was at a tequila bar/restaurant.

Things started out at a slow pace. Everyone ordered a round. One of my senior marketers, whose notorious for only drinking tequila, got me to start of by just drinking tequila, neat, with a splash of lime. This continued for a few rounds. Then he suggested shots. That was fine. Everyone did the first round. Then a second round of shots and another round of drinks was ordered. Now before going forward, I need to also let you know the drinking preferences of my boss, who I happened to be sitting right next to. He's a wine drinker and rarely drinks anything else. Tonight, because we were out with clients at a tequila bar, he acquiesced and had a round of shots and tequila drinks. However, every time people ordered another round, they ordered him a tequila drink, which he "kindly gave" to me and had me drink for him. So basically, for every one drink everyone else had, I had two. I was also drinking primarily shots or tequila, neat, with a splash of lime.

After a couple hours, everyone was pretty lit up and some people, including my boss, had to catch trains back to CT. As has always been the case, there is the expectation that the young guys in the office will take the other young guys out to continue drinking. To not do that would be kind of rude, especially when you are with clients. So we gathered our things and headed to a great rooftop bar nearby. Just as we were leaving the tequila bar, I ran into Molly Shannon from SNL and kindly, but drunkenly, introduced myself to her and complimented her on her work on SNL. Moron!

We started the night off early, like around 5:30. At this point, it was only a little after 8. To my best estimate, I had already had about 10 tequila drinks/shots, but I was doing alright. However, when we got to the next bar, one of the clients wanted to do Jag bombs. He had not drank a lot at the previous place and not being much of a tequila drinker himself, had drank mostly beer. Unfortunately, no one was quick to take him up on his offer for Jag bombs. Again, to leave him hanging like that would be kind of rude, as he is the client, so I said okay. I think that's where the night started to go downhill for me.

The rest of the night is very vague. I remember many more rounds of mostly Red Bull vodkas. I remember calling Evan up and having him meet us at the bar to drink on the company tab. I remember calling Dani once, though she says I called her like 15 times. I remember briefly talking to my dad on the phone. I remember some guy at the bar getting in my face, putting his hands on me and us almost getting into a fight (though Evan was able to separate us). I remember one of my co-workers standing at the bar and then 10 seconds later, seeing him fall in slow motion to the ground. Said co-worker decided it was time for him to leave, but "graciously" left me his corporate AmEx so I could continue to run up the alcohol bill. Probably not the best decision he's ever made. I remember going to Le' Express, a nice drunk hungry place where I usually end up at when I drink with Evan. And then I remember eventually getting home to bed.

Two days later and I'm still hurting.

One thing, however, kind of makes me laugh. Said co-worker who fell at the bar and gave me his AmEx...I saw him the next morning and he looked like shit. He basically blacked out and barely remembered the previous night. However, he does remember getting into a black cab to go home and not having cash on him to pay. He also, at some point, thought he was in Tribeca (we were nowhere near Tribeca all night). Turns out, what he thought was Tribeca was actually The Met. Somehow he ended up there and was wandering around drunkenly at night. How he actually got back to his apartment is still a mystery.

We have 3 more of these things planned for the next month. Until the next one, I think the liver needs some room to breath.

Book It...to Pizza Hut

Critics denounce Pizza Hut reading program

Since 1985, that's been the gist of Pizza Hut's Book It, an incentive program used by 50,000 schools nationwide to reward young readers with free pizzas. The program is now under attack by child-development experts who say it promotes bad eating habits and turns teachers into corporate promoters.

Book It, which reaches about 22 million children a year, "epitomizes everything that's wrong with corporate-sponsored programs in school," said Susan Linn, a Harvard psychologist and co-founder of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood.

"In the name of education, it promotes junk food consumption to a captive audience ... and undermines parents by positioning family visits to Pizza Hut as an integral component of raising literate children," Linn said.

This is kind of sad. I was actually just talking about this with someone the other day. I remember the Book It! program. I read so many books through this program in elementary school, especially during the summertime. I don't remember it being that easy either. I think you had to read a good number of books, especially as you got older. So unless they are giving a pizza for every book you read, I highly doubt that this is the reason why kids today are overweight. At least with this program they won't be stupid.

Update: others agree with me. You can also buy BookIt! t-shirts.

How far can censorship and conservative morons go? Am I the only one who thinks this was a dumb, yet harmless, thing?
Boobgate 2004

How sad is this?

Lycos?50 -- Janet Jackson Makes History

So just for fun I thought I'd post a string of drunken IM conversations that I had a while back during senior week. Not sure if I consider this a high or low of my social career. All of them took place in one night. do I remember them all?....no, but all I can say is that I stay busy when I'm drunk. if only I could look at my phone records for that night...

corporate killah: im so drunl
corporate killah: adnm retardsded
Friend: LOL
corporate killah: what day istint
Friend: what'd you do tonight dude?
corporate killah: \?
Friend: it's techincally wednesday
corporate killah: lol
corporate killah: oh my good
corporate killah: im so uhc and alchi
Friend: lol
Friend: where'd you go tonight?
corporate killah: dinner with so much sushi and wine
corporate killah: then played beiturt
corporate killah: then smoked
corporate killah: then went to a seniors patry
corporate killah: then smoked
corporate killah: then drank out of a pitcher
corporate killah: tehn partied
corporate killah: good deamn
Friend: lol
Friend: sounds like one hell of a night
corporate killah: so much frinkkin fn\
Friend: l

corporate killah: i'm so drunk
Friend2: haha
Friend2: good, good
Friend2: that's the way it should be
corporate killah: where r u/
Friend2: maryland
Friend2: unfortunately
Friend2: a basement
corporate killah: oh
corporate killah: that s so sad
Friend2: i know
Friend2: :-(
Friend2: and you're in willytown
Friend2: not much better off
corporate killah: we partin y so hard
corporate killah: when ru comine?
Friend2: saturday
Friend2: so i can sleep over, right?
corporate killah: yewah
corporate killah: ru lavin saturday
corporate killah: ?
Friend2: good lord
Friend2: get sober
Friend2: =P
Friend2: yeah, leaving saturday
Friend2: we can curl each other's hair
Friend2: and p

corporate killah: aghhhj
Friend3: ?
corporate killah: im so drunk motehr fumcer
Friend3: hahaa
corporate killah: god hlep me
Friend3: go drunk IM girls
Friend3: hahaha
corporate killah: i am
corporate killah: so sad
corporate killah: make me cry]
Friend3: dude
Friend3: whys that?
corporate killah: oh fuck me
corporate killah: i'm so tputpeid
corporate killah: /
Friend3: ?
corporate killah: lol]
corporate killah: my life is a joke
Friend3: dude, I will bback
Friend3: don't act so depressed
Friend3: you sound like Dahiaka
corporate killah: lol
corporate killah: dont sat such mea theamgs
corporate killah: ruck me
corporate killah: fucke me
corporate killah: fuck me
corporate killah: there

Friend4: you still at school ?
Friend4: whats your nickname ?
corporate killah: yes
corporate killah: rubber duckie
Friend4: ?
corporate killah: and i am o drunl
Friend4: eh?
corporate killah: dunb
Friend4: ha ha
corporate killah: serioustl;y
corporate killah: i'm doing sum,be shit right now
Friend4: ha ha
Friend4: uhh do i want to know aout this?
corporate killah: no
corporate killah: i'm druk talkin to ***
Friend4: tee hee
corporate killah: and she deoesnt know who i am
Friend4: i bet that's going well
Friend4: how is she?
Friend4: what/
Friend4: does she not recognize yoru sn?
corporate killah: no
corporate killah: lol
corporate killah: i;m so dumrb

Friend5: lol?
corporate killah: im so drunbka'
Friend5: join the club
Friend5: not me
Friend5: people at williams
corporate killah: oh...so sad
Friend5: were you at the susie h party?
corporate killah: hellz yeah
corporate killah: suzie si my sisdter
corporate killah: sister
corporate killah: mother
Friend5: eric...i don't think that's true
corporate killah: proalla nbot
corporate killah: but oh well
Friend5: so it was fun, i take it?
corporate killah: hellz uyeahs
corporate killah: lool

Friend6: hey
corporate killah: yizzo
Friend6: wait, who is this?
corporate killah: lol
corporate killah: its a crazy word;d
corporate killah: world
Friend6: 'tis
corporate killah: let us trip the rainbow fantastic]
Friend6: sounds thrilling
corporate killah: yes, the hawaiian winds are quite nice
Friend6: not much right now though
corporate killah: as are the worlds of williams
corporate killah: but they are nice
corporate killah: adn cool
corporate killah: and soothing
Friend6: brah
Friend6: whatchu talkin?
corporate killah: talkin the world
corporate killah: life
corporate killah: crazy stuff
Friend6: you stay drunk or what
corporate killah: stay livin
corporate killah: thats what i say
Friend6: haha
corporate killah: i know you get it like that
corporate killah: the irish know their shit
Friend6: YEAH they do
corporate killah: bailey's and som ecrasy shti
corporate killah: so do the russians
Friend6: da russians?
corporate killah: yeah i love all colors
Friend6: yes, me too
corporate killah: red, white, green blue, purple gold, yellow, blue
corporate killah: and blue
Friend6: orange
corporate killah: and brwomn
corporate killah: letst no forget the browns
Friend6: oh yes
Friend6: right
corporate killah: adnt eh whites
corporate killah: and they collge of rainbows
Friend6: haoles?
corporate killah: i mean collage not college
corporate killah: fuck college
Friend6: kay
corporate killah: its no good for the health
Friend6: true dat
corporate killah: yes, i am the oracel fo truth
corporate killah: ask me anythgun and i speak the rteiht
corporate killah: trith
corporate killah: truth
Friend6: whats your name
corporate killah: iam the oracle
Friend6: bullshit
Friend6: what am i wearing
corporate killah: i dont do that kind of crasy stuff\
Friend6: but youre the oracle
corporate killah: putt you probablyy have a flower in your ear
corporate killah: crasy hawaiian girl
Friend6: hahaha
Friend6: nah brah
corporate killah: i speak the truth on life!!!!
corporate killah: life!!!
corporate killah: not trivial shit like that
Friend6: what the fuck
corporate killah: and i aint yo brah
corporate killah: i'm the oracle!!!
Friend6: okay
Friend6: sure you are
corporate killah: i'm the oracle!
corporate killah: ask me!!!!
Friend6: what?
corporate killah: nything about life?
Friend6: whats the meaning
corporate killah: the meaning change swith every being but it all revolves around one thing
corporate killah: me.
corporate killah: love
Friend6: shit
Friend6: we are doomed
corporate killah: i know
corporate killah: the world is cursed
corporate killah: but if you recognise that fate
corporate killah: then all i good
corporate killah: cause i am teh infinite
Friend6: okay
corporate killah: of all things
Friend6: shoots, we're doomed
corporate killah: dont patronize me
Friend6: not
corporate killah: i lthinks so
Friend6: nope
corporate killah: oh
corporate killah: well i guess i misjudges the hawaiians
corporate killah: so hwo is life?
corporate killah: though i already knwo since i am the ORACLE!!!!!
corporate killah: i think she is ignoring me
corporate killah: so sad
corporate killah: :'(\
corporate killah: ?
Friend6: what?
Friend6: sorry
Friend6: i am not hawaiian
corporate killah: u arent?
corporate killah: naw
Friend6: no
corporate killah: that is a lie
corporate killah: wha

So today was pretty crazy. I went to Albany today to see Corinna and to meet her boyfriend Albert. It was a lot of fun. Glad I got to see Corinna and catch up. She's the only friend of mine who has come out to see me, even though she never actually came to my school, but oh well. I was also really excited cause I got to go to an Asian market in Albany. I got all this great Chinese food. Yum. I also, on the way back, picked up some biscuits from Popeye's. I shared them with the Pro Hoes and Becky.Anyways, Albany was good. Lots of fun. I think Albert is a great guy. He kind of reminds me of Hank. Anyways, I got back to school like at 6 pm. I bought a rice cooker and already used it tonight. Kyle came over and we cooked some rice and had dinner. It was fun, we just chilled and watched the Simpsons for a couple of hours. Then I went over to Spencer to set up for the 808 party. '05 baby, '05. Then I cam back and went to Mariah's birthday party. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIAH!!! It's her 20th. It was a lot of fun. Tons of people showed up. Then I went and hung out with Karina, Maria, and Lizzie. Kind of bonded with Lizzie tonight. She's a crazy girl if you didn't know it. We all went to Spencer for the 808 party which was a lot of fun. Hell yeah to AREA ONE for putting on a killer party. It was great cause I helped work the keg with Chin . Good times. Then I went to the snack bar and almost got into like 3 fights with some dumb ass guys. One of them was Andy ( he wasn't a dumbass to be clear). Honestly it was my fault, but yeah, i was pretty pissed so yeah shit could have happened. I'm back now to my room. So hopefully I'll actually get work done tomorrow.

Just got off the phone with Maureen and I think I'm sobering up. Thanks Maureen for listening to me rant and rave about the horrible nature of love. And thank you Matt for caring so much about my well being. Got scared when I looked up some info about the shit I was doing. Scared man. Damn.

Oh yeah, classes ended today and I totally failed at my goal for the week to attend all my classes. Skipped class on Monday and today, but it was worth it cause I got to chill and it a wonderful breakfast with Alexis. It really is all about those moments. Got to cherish them when they happen.

So sticking to Alex's advice, I'm just gonna ignore all this shit and let things take their course. It's really hard advice to follow, but most likely it will do me good cause I needs to focus on finals. But in the end, I'll probably fall back on Maureen's advice and just be honest with her.

Shit, my mind is spinning. Maybe I'm still drunk or high or just delusional. This week has been really hectic and really crazy. Just finished fighting with Candice over IM. By finished, I mean that she fell asleep or so I was told by her boyfriend. So I'm not really sure if I was fighting with her or her boyfriend. I guess it is all the same in the end. I'm just getting sick of all my girl-friends getting boyfriends and then fucking ditching me. Fucking sucks. like I told Maureen, I feel like the "gay boyfriend." But of course, everyone knows I'm not gay (well almost everyone) and then it's just not cool for me to hang out with people's girlfriends.

This brings up another thing. Developed a bunch of pictures. Some of the Northwestern crew. I love you guys. Some racy pictures of me and Jacki that I don't remember taking. Ha Ha. God damn I am a home wrecker.

God damn I'm sad.