Why do we trick ourselves into believing in all these stupid things? I've been trying to decide if I feel lonely here at Williams. I can't really say that I'm lonely here; I've got an entry who is great, always hanging out in my room, even when I'm not there. Should I be worried or flattered that one of my frosh told me that she came into my room while I was gone, propped the door open and turned on my lights and then left just because she said she feels weird when I'm not around or when my door is closed and that having it open and the lights on was comforting? I'll take it as flattery for now. But back to the fact of loneliness. I find myself missing home a lot more this year and really missing my friends and all those great carefree moments. I think I'm beginning to realize that the time in my life were I need to be serious is quickly approaching and that scares the shit out of me. I refuse to live like that. I'm under a lot of pressure right now to find a good summer internship, but I'm slowly realizing that I don't want any of that. I want to do something fun and creative; that's why I'm so excited for my winter study project. God, I can't wait to get started on that. I think if I want to do it well, I need to drop my math class this semester. Hmmmm...

But back to the whole loneliness thing, I think I'm just getting moody lately. I know the reasoning behind at all. I need to stop that. But I know when I'm getting really moody cause I switch over from my usual hip hop playlist and listen to non-stop rock n roll, folk, and soul. I'm listening to Counting Crows right now. That can't be a good sign.