I'm such a pushover and sometimes, I love that about me. Just how a small comment from someone can make my day. Thanks. And now, as I sit here contemplating whether I should even look at my math homework, I'm stuck in one of those music trances where all I want to do is listen to music. Reminds me of that night a long time back when Corinna lent me her Church of Rhythm CD and I spent the whole night in my room, playing the CD and learning all the lyrics. It was ridiculous times. I don't think I slept the whole night and then I went to church the next morning and recited everything to her. God I miss those times. I miss a lot of people. I keep telling my frosh, Tamanna in particular, that I just get so busy and forget home and people. Yes, I forget to call home and other places, but yeah, I still miss people. I still care.

Maybe I should slow down for a bit. I definitely need some time to not do things and not feel guilty. You'd think that that's what the weekend is for, but no. It is a constant cycle of having fun but feeling guilty because nothing gets done. I told myself I was going to stay focused academically this year, but ughh...its not looking well.

But I did get rid of one responsibility, AASiA. Today was the brunch, my final act as co-chair. It went...alright. Wish Lillian had been there. She really was the one running the show and damn good at it. I wonder if I will just drift away from AASiA. It would be so easy to do so, but then again, it's kind of like home...at least I wish it were.

I think its so funny that even though the Asian American community here is so small that there are a lot of people who are "ostricized" from the group. I think I'm one of them. Oh well, whatever. No use in trying for something that doesn't happen naturally. I should probably adopt that philosophy for the rest of my life. It might keep me from a lot of heartbreak and disappointment.

Or maybe I should just start taking my own advice and enjoy what I have, enjoy the singleness and all it has to offer and not worry about tomorrow. Put a little of that Zen training into use and just live in the here and now.

Anyways, this post was not supposed to be sad. It isn't and I'm not sad. One of my frosh said my posts were all sad and I guess in some respects, it is, but its only cause I feel moved to write in this damn thing when I am emotional. But overall, I'm pretty good. I like where I am. I like Williams. I'm still continually asked the question: "If you could do it all again, would you go to Williams?" My answer: "I don't know, but I can't imagine myself anywhere else."
God, I can't wait for winter study. If I get my project approved...so happy.

Just let it be known that I am content and moving forward.

Currently: Listening to the soundtrack to "Camp", trying to write my poem for English class and wondering if I should go to church next Sunday.