So I'm wondering if I put too much of my business on this site. I guess I really don't care. Honestly, if people know my business, more power to them. Keeping a lot of my stuff out in the open helps to keep me accountable which is why I do this. I mean, I'm getting sick of reading my friend's blogs where all they do is rant about some shit that they "can't talk about here cause someone might read it." Shut up then. And then I hate people who respond and leave comments on blogs saying, oh i didn't know you were so angry or sad or happy, etc. I mean, if you are there friend, then you should be able to figure out how they feel without them saying it so blatantly on the page. Anyways, I think every couple months or say I have to justify my reasons for blogging. I do it cause I don't care if you know my shit, but I'd like to keep my friends up to date.

Anyways, I've been getting little amounts of sleep everyday and my body is slowly adjusting and is relatively happy. I talked to Prof. Silber today cause I feel like I'm getting stupider every week in Chinese and she said that she thinks I just have too much going on, which I have to agree with. At least she doesn't think I'm a moron. I also spoke up and at Prof Dalzell today. History class has really frustrated me lately partly because i think Dalzell is losing it, partly because he never calls on me, even when I raise my hand, and finally, he can't same my damn name right. First its she, then sue, then hasu, then shu, and then today...shwee..what the hell is that? But I give him some credit; he knows his shit. I stayed after class today and argued with him some more. He was happy with that.

So this whole place in the Asian community thing has bothered me. I know I don't fit in here as well as I did at home with my Asian friends. I think a lot of it has to do with personalities, which no one can help, but I don't know. I don't feel a part of their group or being able to be a part of that group. They we I explain it is that they're just so much cooler than ms. Whatever. Part of it is cause I didn't do anything with them last year, but that was mostly because of crew. I mean I want to be a part of that group and not because they are just Asian, but because I think a lot of them are pretty cool people. Maybe it's me losing my ability to be social or maybe I'm just blowing things out of proportion and that' becomes and obstacle for me. Or maybe I'm right and they do hate me. But Romina brought up a good point that maybe I'm just not used to people not liking me. I think that holds a lot of truth. It explains why at home most people either like me or hate me, but no in between, or at least that's how I perceive the situation. But yeah, I really like Romina. First time ever that I've really talked to her and she basically filled me in on how we never really knew each other last year. But yeah, learned a lot about Romina and it was fun. I miss being able to strike up great conversations with people. I miss good friends. Not that I don't have them but I'm feeling let down by a lot of them lately. Anyways, all these things are really weighing on me...