Today was a horrible day. I was feeling really sick yesterday and went to the health center for a good portion of the day and slept. They gave me some meds and I left, realizing I had a shitload of work to do. I eventually ate something at 10 pm, first thing I kept down all day and then tried to work on my history paper to no avail. I eventually, my body being so exhausted just fell asleep. I tried to wake up at 4 am, which didn’t happen, and I basically spent the next 3 hours in a half-awake stupor trying to get my body in motion and my mind straight. I finally started my history paper this morning at 7:30 am and it was due at 1 pm. let's just say that it was not my best work. I also e-mailed my Chinese prof to see if I could get an extension on the test I was supposed to take today. Of course, she didn't come to class today to administer the test so I ended up taking the test anyways, which was sucked. then I went back to my room, tried my best to write my paper, sent it via e-mail to Prof. Dalzell, which I don't think he appreciated and then collapsed for another 4-5 hours of sleep. Then I got up, dragged myself to Chinese table and ate dinner except instead of eating the dining hall food, I had a cup of yogurt from my fridge, Up till then, that's all I had eaten all day. So far, my day hasn't been going too well. Knowing I needed to get some shit done and a little peeved from an e-mail my Chinese prof sent me basically saying I was sucking it up this semester, I went to the library for the first time ever to study. It went pretty well; Alexis helped me find a nice place to study. then I went to the snack bar cause I finally felt hungry, ate some food with Drew and Evan and tried to get my bearings. Then I had an HC meeting. Thank god it actually ended on time. For some reason, I always leave there feeling unfulfilled or that we left a lot of issues hanging. Now I'm sitting in Jesup, trying to get some shit done. I've realized that I'm about a week behind in my reading for most of my classes. AASiA responsibilities are also getting to me. I really want all the things to turn out well in April, but things are so crazy right now. I really don't feel like I have time to think right now and if I take a moment to think, I'm gonna fail my courses. I so desperately need to do well this semester. My academic performance thus far has been very sub par. Not sure if I even know how to make things better. There is so much weighing on me lately, especially JAing, summer study abroad and if that doesn't happen, finding a damn job. I wish I also had time to, as corny as it sounds, focus on finding love. But if I were doing that right now, I'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble and I think most of my friends would agree with that. As much as I want it, girls can't be a part of my life right now. On another note, I've been reading a friend's blog lately and it is pissing me off cause the shit he talks about, all his pain recently, I try to feel for him, but I can't because the picture he paints, it makes me feel like he brings it all on himself. I don't want to say anything to him, especially since he's really not one of my best friends, more of a friend of a friend, but god, I feel bad for the kid. It makes me angry sometimes reading his blog cause I feel like he's blind, way to self-involved and then it hits me: what pisses me off the most is that he reminds me of myself.