Late Night/Earl Morning Musings

So today, especially tonight, has been kind of weird. I woke up pretty late this morning. Since I've been back, my body won't let me get up unless I've been asleep for at least 9 hours. I think it a product of the fact that all I did while I was home for break was eat and sleep. But it sucks, cause I was hoping to come back completely refreshed and able to tackle all my lingering work and instead, I've spent the majority of my time asleep. However, I've gone to class and been pretty well prepared for each class which is always a good thing. Anyways, after classes were done for the day, I spent most of my time before and after dinner cleaning my room. It's this neverending task that is always on my "To Do" list. It's kind of stupid and yet very theareputic. I clean my room pretty much every day. Part of it is to just avoid doing work. Part of it is to get organized. Part of it is to realize who disorganized I am and how much crap (both physical and non-physical) that I have lying around. My rooms is currently a mess. My bed is covered in old reading packets, magazines, old essays, and assignments. Its good and bad because it overwhelms me cause a lot of the stuff on my bed right now are things that need to be completed, but at the same time, my bed is in such a disarray that it is preventing me from sleeping so I've been doing some of my work.

Anyways, after trying to clean my room, I went to tutor math. Again, another theareputic thing that also helps me avoid work. I love tutoring. For one, I'm good at it, and subconciously it makes me feel smarter cause the kids I tutor ask me questions, and the majority of the time, I know the answer. Not true of life. Anyways, I was suppossed to tutor from 10 pm- 12 am. I ended up staying an extra hour to chill with them and help them some more. It reminded me of last year when I tutored and really got to know a lot of my tutees. It hasn't been the same this year. I think part of it is because I'm not a JA, and most of my tutees are frosh so it was easier to build a bond last year, but I'm still having a good time this year. Tonight was one of those milestone nights cause it reminded me so much of last year cause we spent a lot of the night working on math, but also just bullshitting. Conincidentally, Jon stopped by the tonight (I tutored him last year), so it brought back good memories. Anyways, I stayed an extra hour even though the College won't pay me for that extra hour, but it was cool. I got to see Doug get pissed, end up reciting Cannibus lyrics, and had some interesting debates about hip hop.
Anyways, I got home around 2:30 and started doing research for my econ senior seminar final paper. Pretty interesting stuff about file-sharing, the music industry, and business models. Wish I had started this a week ago, but I'm confident that this will be a good paper because it's actually something I'm interested in. Actually trying to figure out a way to make this an independent study for next semester.

For a while, I was going strong on my econ research, but then I got sidetracked as usual and ended up browsing through my music collection. Got so ingrossed that I realized that it was suddenly 4:30 am. It made me realize that I'm not doing what I want. Kind of like how I wish I had realized earlier that being a Chinese major was a stupid idea. I should have dropped it earlier than senior year and been an American Studies major. God, life would have been so much better and probably a hell of a lot more interesting.
Anyways, I'm just in one of those weird states right now. I don't have class tomorrow (well, today) cause it was canceled which means I could have just gone out tonight and gotten trashed, but instead, i've decided to pull an all-nighter. Sometimes I don't understand myself.
Oh well, I guess I should go back to my econ research. I'm sure I'll get sidetracked again and be back here writing.

Before I go, lyrics to my new favorite song:

Miracle Drug - U2

i want to trip in side your head, spend the day there
to hear the things you haven't said and see what you might see
i want to hear you when you call, do you feel anything at all?
i want to see your thoughts take shape and walk right out
freedom has a scent
like the top of a newborn baby's head
the songs are in your eyes
i see them when you smile
i've seen enough, i'm not giving up
on a miracle drug

of science and the human heart, there is no limit
there is no failure here sweetheart, just when you quit
i am you and you are mine, love makes no sense of space and
time..will disappear, love and logic keep us clear
reason is on our side, love...love...love...
the songs are in your eyes
i see them when you smile
i've had enough of romantic love , i'd give it up, yeah i'd give it up
for a miracle, a miracle drug (a miracle drug)

God I need your help tonight...

beneath the noise, below the din
i hear your voice, it's whispering
in science and in medicine
i was a stranger, you took me in
the songs are in your eyes
i see them when you smile
i've had enough of romantic love , i'd give it up, yeah i'd give it up
for a miracle, a miracle drug...miracle...miracle drug