I have no words for how I feel except: defeated. Today I took the worst test of my life, just 4 pieces of paper that will dictate the mood of the rest of my summmer. No, I'm not being melodramatic; deep down I do believe that I just failed. Its hard to pass a Chinese test when you write more english words on the page than Chinese characters. Right now I just want to pack up all my things and hide. I want to go outside and walk...and keep walking until I find somewhere bettern than where I am right now. I feel completely lost.