I hate this. Every time I try to do something, whenever I try to do something exciting instead going home to visit my parents, I come off as this spoiled, insensitive brat. Well what they hell am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to come home every break? I spent all of Winter Break with them. I didn't go to Mexico with my friends. At the time, they said they were so happy and thankful that I did that and they understood the sacrifice that I had made. Bullshit...now they just turn around and tell me how horrible I am for not wanting to come home for break. Fuck it. I was stuck on campus for Dead Week. I have had a hellish semester. No, not a hellish semester...a hellish year. I need a fucking break. I didn't even get to go anywhere last Spring Break because I was on campus giving tours and doing construction work, trying to earn some money to pay for my study abroad. But no, that doesn't count for shit. It doesn't count for shit that I tried to plan this trip to Europe with the intent to pay for it all so it wouldn't burden my parents. Again, none of it seems to matter cause they just bitch at me and make me feel like shit. And then they bring up the fact that I still don't have a summer job yet. Why they ask? Is it because I haven't looked? Of course not. I looked and I got rejected. What do I do? I can't change the fact that there are better candidates out there. I can't help the fact that other people have better contacts and better grades and that I make sacrifices to do other things that I feel bring me great joy and teach me more. Fine...make everything I do into an issue of success or failure. Fine, just don't pretend to say nice things to me and say that you are proud of me and then turn around and spit in my face. I work my ass off. I've barely slept in the last 2 weeks. I try to push myself and give what I can. I guess that whole line, 'just do your best' is a crock of shit. Well fuck it!